Candles in the Rain
Melanie

Lay down lay down lay it all down
Let your white birds smile
At the ones who stand and frown

We were so close there was no room
We bled inside each other's wounds
We all had caught the same disease
And we all sang the songs of peace

Lay down lay down lay it all down
Let your white birds smile
At the ones who stand and frown

So raise candles high 'cause if you don't
We could stay black against the night
Oh raise them higher again
And if you do we could stay dry against the rain

Lay down lay down lay it all down
Let your white birds smile
At the ones who stand and frown

Some came to sing, some came to pray
Some came to keep the dark away
So raise candles high 'cause if you don't
We could stay black against the sky
Oh oh raise them higher again
And if you do we could stay dry against the rain

Hurricane Katrina blew me away . . . but the human heart shining through took the cake!  For, amidst the finger pointing of the federal and local bureaucrats, the American people once again showed a fierce compassion in the outpouring of what each person could freely give!  Mother Nature may have reminded us that she is greater than all the world's technology combined - but we showed each other that we can and will rise above the worst that is bourne upon us.

If tomorrow all the things were gone
I'd worked for all my life,
And I had to start again
with just my children and my wife,
I'd thank my lucky stars
to be living here today,
'Cause the flag still stands for freedom
and they can't take that away.

And I'm proud to be an American
where at least I know I'm free,
And I won't forget the men who died
who gave that right to me,
And I gladly stand up next to you
and defend her still today,
'Cause there ain't no doubt I love this land
God Bless the U.S.A.

From the lakes of Minnesota
to the hills of Tennessee,
Across the plains of Texas
from sea to shining sea.
From Detroit down to Houston
and New York to L.A.,
well There's pride in every American heart
and it's time we stand and say:

that I'm proud to be an American
where at least I know I'm free,
And I won't forget the men who died
who gave that right to me,
And I gladly stand up next to you
and defend her still today,
'Cause there ain't no doubt I love this land
God Bless the U.S.A.

Father's Eyes
Amy Grant

I may not be every mother's dream for her little girl,
And my face may not grace the mind of everyone in the world.
But that's all right, as long as i can have one wish I pray:
When people look inside my life, I want to hear them say,

She's got her father's eyes,
Eyes that find the good in things,
When good is not around;
Eyes that find the source of help,
When help just can't be found;
Eyes full of compassion,
Seeing every pain;
Knowing what you're going through
And feeling it the same.
Just like her father's eyes.

And on that day when we will pay for all the deeds we have done,
Good and bad they'll all be had to see by everyone,
And when you're called to stand and tell just what you saw in me,
More than anything I know, I want your words to be,

She had her father's eyes,
Eyes that found the good in things,
When good was not around;
Eyes that found the source of help,
When help would not be found;
Eyes full of compassion,
Seeing every pain;
Knowing what you're going through,
And feeling it the same.
Just like her father's eyes.

I hope this year's Father's Day was all you wanted, Dad!

It's been a long while since I've relaxed here, and I thought to post a song or two that went with the theme of the month I experienced!   Feel free to comment, or share in anyway you'd like.

If I could

(I'd like to dedicate this song
to all the parents and children of the world...
and especially to my very own... Martin!)

If I could
I'd protect you from the sadness in your eyes
Give you courage in a world of compromise
Yes, I would

If I could
I would teach you all the things I've never learned
And I'd help you cross the bridges that I've burned
Yes, I would

If I could
I would try to shield your innocence from time
But the part of life I gave you isn't mine
I've watched you grow
So I could let you go

If I could
I would help you make it through the hungry years
And I know that I can never cry your tears
But I would
If I could

If I live
In a time and place where you don't want to be
You don't have to walk along this road with me
My yesterday
Won't have to be your way

If I knew
I'd have tried to change the world I brought you to
And there isn't very much that I can do
But I would
If I could...

Oh my Child! ... mummy wants to protect you
and help her baby through the hungry years
it's part of me

And if you ever... ever need
A shoulder to cry on
Or just someone to talk to
I'll be there... I'll be there

I didn't change your world
but I would
If I Could!

I first heard this song sung by my beautiful and loving Aunt at her own son's wedding - I balled like a baby . . . still do.  It said everything I've always wanted to say to my treasure of a child, only better.

I've never heard Celine Dion sing this, and the name of the artist who brought it back to my attention escapes me now . . . her rendition was as close to my Aunt's as anyone could get.

"April - she's a quicker dance
with a forward gaze, and a backward glance
and a weakened knee and a wide-eyed chance
of flowers at your feet."
Dave Mallet

I can't believe it's been an entire month since I've offered anything!  Oh - but what a month it's been!  I experienced so many "firsts" with my young son - it was almost magical!  I can say there wasn't a single night that we didn't go to bed with smiles on our faces!

That piece up there reminds me of my friend, Hussy - Can you guess why??? 

April has always been a stupendous month for me - it was the month that cradled the anniversary of my parent's marriage, something we had always celebrated as if it was a national holiday!  It has ALWAYS been kicked off with lots of pranks and laughter, and with Spring blossoming all around, I've always felt we got gyped celebrating Valentine's Day in February instead of in April.

Fourteen years ago, a young man was born who would become more than the world to me - someone who has never failed to make my life all the more rewarding; each day seem to eminate with brightness - even when clouds covered the sky; each night a welcomed soul to share the happenings of the day and dreams of tomorrows.  April has become THE month I most look forward too - because I have a chance to try and express, once again, how grateful I am to have him in my life ~ what a treasure he is to me ~ and how very proud I am of who he is, and what he has accomplished in his life so far.

We seem to start celebrating earlier and longer each year- LMAO!  At first it was just he and I, then my sister Tam and her two kids joined in on his second birthday.  By three, it was a three party affair - the weekend before 'Tin's birthday his dad would throw a HUGE party, then all of my family would meet at Mom & Dad's for a feast and presents and cake and ice cream!  The weekend after his birthday, 'Tin would have a themed birthday party for all of his little friends.  We went through Barney, Hercules, Power Rangers, Pokemon, DragonBallZ, WWF Wrestling, WWF Wrestling, WWF Wrestling, WWE Wrestling - then he stopped having themed parties.  His special day fell during spring break and he and his friends were of an age when they spent goo-gobs of time with family.

This year, his older 26 year old brother took him to THE FIRST BASEBALL GAME either of them had ever been too!  It was an historical day, Washington D.C. hasn't had it's own Baseball team in over thirty (i believe) years!  Martin was on cloud nine - because of the game, and because he got to spend time with his big brother, whom he idolizes!

Next on the agenda - on the night of his birthday - was a dinner at a place Martin loves - Joe's Crab Shack - which is chock FULL of ambiance!  You really DO feel as if you're sitting in a place on the beach - ANY beach!  My family gathered there - we needed THREE long picnic bench tables with umbrella (LMAO) to seat everyone, and even then we had to snag a few extra 'rondack chairs!  We had a fantastic time - 'Tin was estatic over his gifts!  The crew came over and one of the guys said they were going to sing Happy Birthday, but since 'Tin was a young fella they were gonna make it short.  I almost fell out off my seat when they all on cue dropped to crouching position and started singing!!!!  They then brought out the TALLEST chocolate cake I've ever seen!  YUM!

Martin hasn't stopped talking about that night since!  It was a beautiful day - all the way around!  He's particularly proud of the fact he shares his birthday with a certain tall, gruesome and hulking wrestler - and that Mom choses to celebrate with her son over celebrating KANE's birthday online with her firends - Hey - I love KANE, but . . . there just isn't any contest there!

Last weekend, Martin got to take four of his closest guy friends to luncheon and then on a small spree at Dave & Busters, topping the day off with a pizza party.  His older brother and a friend Martin made while visiting in Colombia a few years back showed up -   I thought my son was gonna burst with happiness!  His paternal family threw him a brunch the next morning, his Grandmother had flown in from Colombia to surprise him - I tell ya - he's been walking on clouds from all the "presents" he's received. 

Yesterday, we had a meeting with his 8th grade teachers and went over the recommendations made by the high school counselors for his 9th grade year . . . based on his test scores, they want him to take honours english and honours science, with accelorated classes in all other subjects.  This was quite a shock for ME, let alone Martin, as he has been working through his dyslexia since we discovered it in the second grade, and has had to work very hard to get good grades!   WHAT A BOOST to his young ego!  WHAT a motivator this news has been!  He will still have a few special needs seen too - a calculator when taking math testing, and a word processor for writing . . . the choice of a little extra time when taking tests, especially when it entails a great deal of reading, but you should SEE the twinkle in his eyes!  The icing on THAT cake came in the form of the high school music director asking him PERSONALLY to audition for his chamber choir and the male quintet that has become famous around these parts in the last six years!!!!

Oh - I fear I've probably put any readers to sleep with this post - but I can't apologize . . . Spring has sprung and brought a bounty I'll cherish always, I'm filled to overflowing and itching to take a twirl or two around the May Pole ~ but that's a blog for a different day! 

Just wanted to say "HEY!" and let the world know I'm still around - LOL.  This was another bizzzay week!  Spring concerts for Martin; Family coming in from around the US; Baby Sister's birthday and a new member of the family to welcome! BIG bosses leaving - so lunches and 'roasts' to go to -   Then getting ready for Spring Break and the Easter Celebrations.

Holiday weekends are when I'm at my best . . .  and worst!  I totally enjoy entertaining - in all forms, so I get to shine around the holidays - but that means I end up basically neglecting my online life and family .  I have to find a way to get better organized so I can mete out time for all!  I'm finding a happy Marce means an all around fulfilled Marce - and I can't feel fulfilled without the inclusion of those I've come to love and enjoy to the "nth" degree on line!

So, for now, before I go off to Easter Dinner and socializing with my "life" family, I want to say I wish you were all here - or that I was everywhere with you guys!  Hope you are enjoying the season's change and that I'll be able to share some Cherry Blossom pics with you all soon!

HUGS and MUCH LOVE!!!!!
~*Marce*~

Use what talent you possess: the woods would be very silent if no birds sang except those that sang best.
       - Henry Van Dyke

"Talkin' to myself and feelin' old
Somtetimes I'd like to quit
Nothing ever seems to fit . . ."

Ever felt like everything you try - every NEW thing - seems to come out all wrong and goopy?  You try to work around it - see if there's a way to "shelve" things until you just can't stand knowing something you tried to create is just sitting there - incomplete.  And then you spend hours ~ possibly even days trying to figure out what ya' did worng, only to see that what it is is that you just don't have all the tools.

That's where I am today.  I'm trying to learn to write fiction in a new genre, and I'm not liking what's coming out . . . IT doesn't "FEEL" right, and I'm not really happy with the story.  It just isn't me - I feel like I'm working hard at being someone I'm not, trying to do something THAT person would do, and failing miserably.

It doesn't help that I'm - at the same time - trying to learn this css crap, and not really picking up on it very well -  at least not fast enough to do the things I need and want to do with it.  Technical reading is boring for me, even though I know at the end of it all, I'll have a better knowledge of the things I LOVE to do - I'm much MUCH more of a hands on person.

And then there's raising a teenager - LMAO!  Every BIT as challenging as learning new webdesign techniques and delving into uncharted writing territory!  Every DAY seems to bring about a whole new set of rules that must be explored, circumstances that must be addressed, consequences that need to be visited.  And there really isn't a handbook or guidebook on how to accomplish the daunting deed!  LOL!  There are times when I bemoan my ineptness at motherhood - times when I can appreciate a "quote" like the one above . . . I may not be the best at what what I undertake to accomplish, but - LAWS, Yes - I do the best I can, with what I have and what I can get!

Sounds awfully - BLEAH . . . don't it?  Rainy Days & Mondays . . .

Guess it's back to the drawing board for me . . .

I'm trying to make a conscious effort to post everyday -   Reminds me of when I started using a diary or journal back when I was a teen . . . and yes that WAS back in the days of the dinosaurs ('Tin is ROLLIN' right now :S  ) 

It was indeed a beautiful day, azure blue skies with white puffy clouds, a crispness in the air that carried olors eliciting instant memories to made you smile, sunshine - glorious rays of God's gream high beam aimed at lighting the soul as well as the day.

We said goodbye to Debbie Hogan on this "good day".  Well, most of us did - in the way of a TRUE Irishman, Kevin stood before us and said

"Geez, Debs . . . I'll be damned if I'm gonna tell ya good bye.  Instead, I'm gonna say what I've said for the last couple of years.  'You go on home and get some rest, I'll see ya as soon as I take care of the kids.' "

Any of us who weren't tearing up before this, certainly couldn't hold back a tear or two after that.

I had to smile, though, and love Kevin all the more for his total honesty.  Kevin Hogan is one of those people who knows himself, and has no problem with letting the world know where he is coming from.  In this case, he believes his beloved is going to a better place, a place where she can finally get some much needed rest, and he knows he will see her, be with her again, some day.

After the service, the family did what Debbie had asked - they celebrated her life in good old fashioned Irish Tradition - gathering around the home front, telling stories and anecdotes with Debs as the central figure, drinking, eating, drinking, singing and drinking.  LOL  Don't worry, there was other forms of beverage besides beer! 

The day progressed slowly, quietly, with much reflection and very little work getting done - except maybe for Debbie . . . I believe she was still very busy today, working her special kind of majik.

Feeling kinda whomped today - spent Firday night hangin' out with my gurls - LOL  I really enjoy that time . . . everyone just seems to kick back and let it all hang out!  Funny thing is - from what I see, EACH of us truly looks forward to that "US" time!  It's totally fulfilling, whimsical - hilarious - serious - helpful - creative . . . Love you guys!!!

Saturday morning, 'Tin (my thirteen year old son) and I got up extra early to watch the sky change colors.  When we moved to this town, when he was five, 'Tin used to get me up with his exhuberant chatter, tugging and pulling on my hand while I scurried around getting his juice and my coffee so we could hurry outside to watch the sun rise.  It was a special time for both of us, and no matter how much I grumbled inwardly, once we were seated, 'Tin on my lap, our heads side by side as he leaned back into me, my lips close to his cheek - I, with a heart full to overflowing, would thank God for the gift of a child who was this easy to please,  and who WANTED to share this kind of time with me.

Apparently, 'Tin got a great deal out of moments like that, 'cuz he still looks for opportunities to snatch 'em.  While I was getting showered and dressed, 'Tin made my coffee for me  and had himself a thermos of hot chocolate.  He's too big to sit on my lap, so now he sits on the bench in front of me, and I have to sit on one leg just to be able to drape my arms down over his shoulders.  Guess what - the majik is still there!

We finished our morning drinks while trying to decide what we would do for breakfast, then hurried to the car and took off - just took off - giggling like little tykes sitting on the kitchen counter with a jar of cookies between us!  We'd decided to drive for an hour or so, see where we ended up and that is where we'd break our fast.

Twelve Thirty saw us standing in line to see BE COOL, which was a pretty darned good movie, and by three o'clock we were over at my "baby" sister's begging her to come out and play = LOL   We ended up taking Rin, her beautiful Austrian Shepherd, to the Howard Country Regional Park, one of the most beautiful parks on God's Green earth.  While 'Tin and Rin romped, Steph and I got to spend some sister time talking and making tentative plans for this year's family reunion.

We rolled home Saturday evening a little after six - feeling a helluva lot better than we had at that time the evening before.  And ya know, we did the same thing on Sunday, except we took in THE PACIFIER at the movies - EXCELLENT EXCELLENT film!!! You like Vin Deisel?  GOTTA see this!!!!! - and afterwards we snagged my neice and my grand neice her five month old daughter and went down to DC to see the St Patty's Day parade and on to the zoo! 

Last evening, once we got settled back into some semblance of our "normal" routine, I felt a little rejuvenated . . . Isn't that what weekends are supposed to be for?

Huggles!!!!!!!!!!

  4Thy & Debbie,
March2005

Well, I posted an entry on Tuesday, which I see didn't make it!  LOL  I guess I doood summat wronged!

I've been dealing with the unexpected all week - KANE showing up on RAW - LITA too!!!! Freak snow storms, a sister I didn't need to see popping up of a sudden (figures, I mentioned her quite a bit last week    , the head of the Public Works Department - my direct boss - resigning TOTALLY out of the blue then having his resignation plastered on the front page of the local gazzette quoted in a not so glowing statement against our mayor and council (is there a poke your finger down your throat smilie in this thing?!?!) . . . not to mention being sick enough to wonder if fantasy lovers COULD make you pregnant! (LMFAO - I'm too old a troll NOT to know that is impossible!)  I can not wait for the weekend!

I've jumped on the "AWARENESS" bandwagon, especially where it pertains to women.  I'm waiting for some of my goodies to arrive so I can start sending them out to all the lovely women in my life!  In the mean time, I made up a couple of little taggies if anyone wants to use 'em!  When ever I master how to work this layout, I'll set some on here somewhere with links to the appropriate sites for more info!   

Did you know that women who strive to AVOID marital stress are more likely to succumb to heart related problems than women who express themselves freely in their marriages?  Not to be funny here, but I guess that only works if the women don't have to fear physical retribution if they "give lip". But that WAS something I didn't know, and another reason I'm happy to be single.   

Well, I'm gonna take my "oh! I shouldn't have eaten that" arse off to bed - Oh, Terror Twin and the BF - I will be finishing up the first chapter of 13th Hour tomorrow . . . heheh!

Nyte all!